The doctor is in
by Sfrank03
Summary: the story of the doctor to the unique inhabitants of Gotham, and his story. a oneshot for now, i may make it a series if I remain interested enough.


You see em all the time on the news... You hear names like joker, two face, poison ivy... Yeah when you hear about them you hear about their bad deeds or maybe the people they've killed. But when they get shipped off to arkham do you ever wonder who they put down on their files as their "primary physician", that's me... They call me doc... I've been doin this for about three or four years now, it's called a street doc; normally street docs work for the mob or some other criminal organization, I work freelance. Since most of the mob had their own docs and no one actually wants to give someone like Mr. Freeze a physical, when one of them gets sick they usually come to me. I work out of an old Victorian home in one of the older parts of Gotham, I get paid EXTREMELY well, I live next to starlets and millionaires. You'd think the bat would come and stop me but when the big bad bat has something wrong his usual doc can't handle apparently I'm his port in a storm. I didn't always do this job, when I was first out of medical school I wanted to work at a hospital, with a double doctorate in surgery and internal medicine I was the prodigal son in my family... That was until Harley Quinn dragged me off of the street and had me stitch her puddin back together again. When the cops burst in right after I finished with his last gaping wound they pressed charges against me, called me an accomplice and took away my medical license. After a round of failed appeals and with student loans collectors at my door I had nowhere to turn. Then one day after the joker busted out of arkham I got a large package on my doorstep filled with hundred dollar bills, courtesy of Miss Quinn. There was a note giving her thanks with a large lipstick mark on the reverse, and that's how it started.

The money paid off the bills easily enough and got me a new car, house, and a shiny new lab coat... But it soon ran out. Not that I had to worry though, Quinn told her pal Red what good work I did, that travelled through the grapevine, get it grapevine... Nevermind... Then penguin heard about my work, soon after that every bad guy not locked up in that cuckoo's nest started showing up at my door. Don't get me wrong, Poison Ivy on a table naked isn't all that bad, but try giving a prostate exam to The Riddler then talk to me. After a while I just got used to it, the first few times Killer Croc needed me to pull a few bullets out of his back I was scared, but now he's just another patient. I'm on a first name basis with most of gothams underworld, well anyone that matters anyway. I have a table on reserve at the iceberg lounge I can go to at any time.

I do have some conflicts of interest however, the batman soon started noticing my clientele and came knocking. He did the usual dark threats but when one of his "charges" got a bullet in her spine and the hospital was gonna ask too many questions, well who ya gonna call... Don't you dare say Ghostbusters...Since then I've been getting visits from both sides... And business is booming, it's like how much money arms dealers make during a war in Africa.

There are some downsides, usually I'm untouchable but when you botch a job, people don't usually take it well. Two Face's top lieutenant came in one day with a sucking chest wound and a knife in his kidney, the guy was circling the drain and the big man wanted me to fix him. When he died I nearly bit the dust too, the coin decided my fate... Good god that was close. Now I have some hired muscle, she used to work for that brotherhood of assassins thing or whatever, she came in with a slashed femoral. I saved her life... She called it a life debt or something. It's not what you think... Stop it, perverts... Not that some of the villainesses don't pay that way, but that's another story. She makes sure the patients don't get to rowdy and I make sure she gets a steady pay and her pimp... oh sorry, "Master and Teacher" doesn't come looking for her to, ahem… test her loyalty, so everybody wins.

Anyway, if you're some super powered freak or some sort of costumed vigilante and you get cut up, or even just get the flu, I can help... You can call me doc. But don't expect a lollipop afterwards...I have a reputation you know…


End file.
